One of the most powerful lessons I have ever learned happened in 2010 when I was a new counselor at a non-profit organization in Philadelphia.
One of my students was anxiously awaiting to hear if she had been admitted early to Yale.
Together, we made a plan.
On the day decisions were released, we would use a code to share the results. Our plan was to go for ice cream. If she arrived at the office and said “vanilla” I knew that the results were not what she had hoped for. “Vanilla” meant that we wouldn’t talk about it, but we would walk to the closest ice cream shop and feel our feelings by eating 3 or 4 scoops. “Chocolate” meant Yale said yes. And we would still get ice cream, just with a little more pep in our step as we walked down the block.
I’ll never forget the day she came to the office, stood by my desk, and simply said “Chocolate.”
I screamed. I jumped out of my chair, hugged her, and danced around my office cheering. We ate ice cream and celebrated her accomplishment.
The lesson came less than 48 hours later.
Another student popped by my desk.
“Where’s my ice cream?”
“I’m sorry, what do you mean?” I replied.
The student reminded me that she had been accepted to the junior college in our area the week before. She asked why she too didn’t get hugs, cheers, and ice cream.
I felt so small at that moment, deservedly.
I felt it deeply and committed to being better every day moving forward.
I learned a powerful lesson that day, one I share with my graduate students every year.
I now roll out the red carpet for every student. Every achievement matters. They matter.
The student who taught me that lesson? She was consistently told by her teachers that junior college was all she could accomplish.
Recently? She graduated with her Masters degree.
Let us stop limiting our students, and remember, every accomplishment is worth rolling out the red carpet.
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